I'll start off this entry by saying that the past week or so has been pretty rough for me.

I went to the doctor for my glucose test on September 1st. The test itself really wasn't so bad. However, the drink did make me sick. I try not to include a lot of sugary foods and drinks in my diet... so, I'm sure that's the reason that it didn't sit so well with me. Well, about a week ago, my doctor called with the results. I tested negative for gestational diabetes but, I had developed an iron deficiency.

Since last week, I have been taking an iron supplement twice a day. Before beginning the supplement, I was sick for about 4 days straight. I could barely stand to eat anything and I felt tired and nauseous for the better part of the day. Since starting the supplement, I feel better overall. But, I'm not sure if this is a result of the iron or not.

The bad part is the swelling that I have been experiencing lately. The first day I noticed it, my left ankle looked huge... like I had been stung by a bee, and had an allergic reaction. On this particular day, I really wasn't on my feet much at all. So, I was a bit confused as to why it would have swelled like that. Over the next few days, my feet and ankles continued to swell... but, not as drastically. However, the past few nights, my left ankle is back to looking like it's 3 times its original size. So, I guess this is something I will be bringing up at my appointment next week. I'm very worried that this could turn into something really serious. :(

Unfortunately, I am now at the point where most things I do have become uncomfortable. It's now painful and exhausting to complete everyday tasks. I am not the kind of person that easily asks for help and it's very heartbreaking to me to sit around helplessly as people fret over me. I do think I am getting better about accepting the help though... which is a big step for me.

As far as things on the outside go, I'm worried that I'll never be ready in time. There's so much left to be done before he arrives and I'm just exhausted from trying to get it all together. I've been doing so many projects to cut costs and reduce waste. Now I'm worried that I won't have a chance to finish them all... much less the Christmas shopping!

As of today, I am exactly 6 months along!

I'm starting to feel the physical stresses of being pregnant a lot more than I was a few weeks ago. I have been getting horrible cramps in my lower legs, no matter how many remedies I have tried. I'm also starting to become tired and sluggish a lot more quickly. My body also starts to ache if I've had more physical activity than usual during the day. I would still say that I'm feeling pretty good overall though.

Last week, we went to have an ultrasound done to determine the gender and check general progress. Despite what mostly everyone we know was thinking, the baby is a boy! When I announced this news to my mother, the first thing she says is "Are you sure?" I guess she really wanted the baby to be a girl... too bad for her.

Normally, the baby is very active and barely sits still. During the ultrasound, he was very calm and barely moved. He curled himself up into a little ball and refuse to let the technician get any good pictures of him... figures! She could tell almost right away that it was a boy though. He's doing extremely well and measured in at 1.3 pounds. He is in the 44th percentile as far as his measurements go. He also appears to be very healthy and shows no signs of spinal deformities or brain abnormalities. So, he's doing awesome so far!

Since we found out the gender, we have been a lot more excited about his arrival. We finally have a name to put to the face! It just seems like it has made everything more real. My husband and I are working on some craft projects together that will give the baby's room a personal touch. I also plan on hand painting a lot of his plain white clothes to give him a little bit of style!

3 months to go!

A few hours ago, I was laying on my back and talking to my husband. I pulled up my shirt just to check things out and, I see the baby's foot kick my belly out! I actually squealed in my husband's ear because I was so surprised. It actually looked like it was swimming underneath my skin.

It freaked me out because that's just not something you see everyday! Pretty exciting though!

Week 21

Right now, I am 4 days shy of being 22 weeks along. It's kind of surreal to think that I've already gotten through half of this pregnancy. Everyday that passes, I get more and more anxious to find out the gender of our little one. Everyone keeps asking me if I've had any feelings about what the sex might be. So far, I really haven't. The only thing that would fall into that category would be the fact that when I speak of the baby, I'm more inclined to say "she." My husband has also had 2 dreams in which our baby was a little girl. We've also been told by several others that they strongly feel like we are having a girl.

I think I'm finally starting to grasp the fact that we will be parents in December... although it's still a little scary to think that someone will be calling me Mommy. My husband and I were talking today about how different and amazing Christmas is going to be this year. We are going to have our own little family! I'm starting to get very excited about what the future holds for us. We will be able to carry on our own traditions and teach our child about all the joys life has to offer... all of this while being surrounded by family for the holidays! It all seems picture perfect in my head.

Onto the subject of labor. I'm still terrified by this prospect. No amount of reassurance is going to make me feel more at ease about it. I think it's just one of those things that I'm going to have to try not to think about until the time comes. I've purposely put off reading the chapter in my baby book about it... the last time I tried, I started to sweat and get really nervous as I was reading. I will read it eventually... just not now. Speaking of reading, I'm so glad that I do so. Since I have educated myself on being pregnant, I don't feel the need to run to the E.R. every time I experience something weird... Braxton Hicks contractions, for example. If I hadn't been reading "What to Expect," I would have run straight for the doctor! We could eliminate so much of that if women would just pick up a damn book!

With the passing of these last few weeks, I've begun to feel a million times better about so many things in my life. I may not have it all but, I'm incredibly lucky to have the things that I do. My husband and I have reached a really good point in our marriage and I feel like we have gotten a lot closer together from recent experiences. He also landed a full time job that he applied for. So, we are on our way to security and making a lot of our dreams a reality. Sometimes it's funny to look back at how much we stress ourselves out about certain situations... only to find them working out in the end.

Here goes nothing...

After being persuaded by a friend, I decided that keeping a baby blog might actually be beneficial to me. Despite not being very good at documenting these types of things, I am really going to try. I'm sure it will be nice to look back at these memories someday and possibly share them with others.

I suppose I'll begin with an update from my last doctor's appointment, which was on July 6th. At that time, I was 18 weeks along. I gained 4 pounds since my visit the previous month. Altogether, I've gained 7 pounds so far. We also heard the baby's heartbeat for the 3rd time, which measured at 138. The doctor tells me that all of my tests have come back very good and the pregnancy is going very well so far, in her opinion. Physically, I'm feeling much better in my second trimester than I was in my first. I had horrible morning sickness at all times of day and was usually too tired to do much of anything. The only complaints I've had this past month seem to be with my hormones and feeling a lot of pain in my back and legs. I've just been extremely irritable and I often feel sad or upset.

So far, pregnancy is a lot different than I expected it to be. I envisioned everyone being excited about the baby and doing anything they can to help out, which is very much not the case. When I told my mom, she seemed like she really didn't care. She just asked a bunch of questions as if I were an irresponsible teenager that had no idea what I was doing. I suppose she's gotten slightly better... but, not by much. She never calls to check on me or ask how my check-ups went. I almost think I would be better off if she just flat out told me she didn't care. My dad was pretty much the same way, in the beginning. Lately, he has seemed a lot more interested though. My husband's parents have been excited since the minute we told them. They have really been very supportive and understanding.

I still don't think the fact that I'm pregnant has fully sunken in yet. My husband and I are both very excited.. but, I'm also very scared. It seems like everyone is doubting us but, I know we both have so much love to give our baby. I just want to be able to give him or her the stable and loving home that I didn't really have as a young child.