Right now, I am 4 days shy of being 22 weeks along. It's kind of surreal to think that I've already gotten through half of this pregnancy. Everyday that passes, I get more and more anxious to find out the gender of our little one. Everyone keeps asking me if I've had any feelings about what the sex might be. So far, I really haven't. The only thing that would fall into that category would be the fact that when I speak of the baby, I'm more inclined to say "she." My husband has also had 2 dreams in which our baby was a little girl. We've also been told by several others that they strongly feel like we are having a girl.
I think I'm finally starting to grasp the fact that we will be parents in December... although it's still a little scary to think that someone will be calling me Mommy. My husband and I were talking today about how different and amazing Christmas is going to be this year. We are going to have our own little family! I'm starting to get very excited about what the future holds for us. We will be able to carry on our own traditions and teach our child about all the joys life has to offer... all of this while being surrounded by family for the holidays! It all seems picture perfect in my head.
Onto the subject of labor. I'm still terrified by this prospect. No amount of reassurance is going to make me feel more at ease about it. I think it's just one of those things that I'm going to have to try not to think about until the time comes. I've purposely put off reading the chapter in my baby book about it... the last time I tried, I started to sweat and get really nervous as I was reading. I will read it eventually... just not now. Speaking of reading, I'm so glad that I do so. Since I have educated myself on being pregnant, I don't feel the need to run to the E.R. every time I experience something weird... Braxton Hicks contractions, for example. If I hadn't been reading "What to Expect," I would have run straight for the doctor! We could eliminate so much of that if women would just pick up a damn book!
With the passing of these last few weeks, I've begun to feel a million times better about so many things in my life. I may not have it all but, I'm incredibly lucky to have the things that I do. My husband and I have reached a really good point in our marriage and I feel like we have gotten a lot closer together from recent experiences. He also landed a full time job that he applied for. So, we are on our way to security and making a lot of our dreams a reality. Sometimes it's funny to look back at how much we stress ourselves out about certain situations... only to find them working out in the end.
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